Death

Death is just as significant as Life. Cannot live without death around you. Cannot die without living. Its just something that happens.

My grandmother has passed and I cannot but feel the greatest sense of loss I have ever felt in my life. My Grandmother was the "trunk" of a beautiful tree with all her branches of family which have all broken. I guess it was fitting that she died in the middle of a horrible storm which caused many fallen trees and lots of places without power. A sense of chaos not only in the world but in our hearts. This sense of chaos and uneasiness will not pass in any amount of time.

I have only sad, depressing and angry things to say at the moment. I must stop writing because I am too tired to continue to hit delete.

I do not wish for death or fear it. I only hope that when death comes it comes fast and not at the choice of others.

My grandma was an amazingly strong woman. Of course with her faults... but she truly loved her family. I am inspired by my grandmas ways to love and connect with every one of her friends, neighbors, and family. This is the example I will hold myself to. Your life is what you make of it. I will try to live and love as deeply as my grandmother had lived.

Grams

My grandma had a massive stoke this past Tuesday. I think my entire family has had the toughest week they have had in a long time. My grandma is definitely fighting for her life. There is a long road of recovery ahead and we did not know if this was even an option earlier this week. My grandma is a fighter. I cannot wait to see her this afternoon. I hope she will be awake to say hello.

Well, my brother got married last weekend. What a party!!!! Best family, best food, best dancing. Much love for my family. It was definitely an event to remember.

Piece by piece I have been trying to make my home more organized. We kinda been living like a mess. Ants have infested my home (like they do every year). Damn you old building. Its just very stressful for me to deal with. I do not cook at all in my kitchen if I have ants... I can leave a bowl of cereal for one second to grab the milk and there will be an ant on the counter looking for food. ugh. I think I am starting to get control of the situation a.k.a ant traps. I think i bought like 25 (5-6 different kinds) and only one of them seems to be working.

Today is my cousin's graduation party from High School. wow the baby of the family has just graduated High School. We are getting old. He will be off to college and when he graduates I will be in my thirties. man. this is crazy.


Where does all the time go?